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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?